Sunday, August 31, 2008

Kobayashi Maru

So Andy and I have a no win scenario. Our oldest is in the height of her terrible twos and we would like to know what other people of done with this problem (trusting other kids have done the same thing :) so please give us some feed back all you experienced parents :)

No Win Scenario-

Sweet Pea when she does not want to leave the park or go somewhere she goes limp as a noodle when you try to hold her hand. She collapses on the ground and refuses to go. Mom can't pick her up as she is holding the newest addition of the family and any verbal instructions Sweet Pea doesn't acknowledge and they are met with screaming and crying. We have been doing purposeful swats which hasn't solved the problem hence the no win situation.
Any thoughts?


Debbie said...

Hi Erica, mom of three grown babies here. Now I have one 4-year old granddaughter. It takes a bit of adjustment for a little one who, until the new baby arrived, had been the star of the show and the focus of all the families attention. Advice to you: ignore the behavior. Carry on just like it isn't happening. Walk away, head for the car, talk to her like she's not throwing a fit, talk to her like she's doing exactly what you want her to do. She is just testing to see what kind of behavior gets attention from you. My little granddaughter did this a couple of times in the aisle at the grocery store when she was about 2 years old. She wanted to look at toys, we said it was time to move. She went limp, cried, screamed...the whole thing. Little kids are like baby ducks. They'll pretty much follow you when they realize you aren't changing the parade route because they're throwing a bit of a hissy.

Treat it like it's not even happening and the minute she starts to do what you want ---- immediately give her the attention she's looking for. "Oh how great! You decided to come with us! We're SO glad you decided to get up and come with us, that's sooo awesome!!!" and keep walking, Mama Duck :))

Good luck with your beautiful little family! Grandma Debbie in Iowa

TPluckyT said...

Plan A - What Debbie said. We've used this method with all four kids and it works as well as anything without having to inflict blows to the head. You do have to be willing to walk quite a ways away sometimes while still keeping them safely in your sight.

Of course when Coral turned 21 I started just leaving her altogether.

Plan B: Buy a Home Child-Rearing Taser at Baby Gap. This effective tool for controlling a child's behavior has been used effectively by law enforcement personnel worldwide.

laura said...

first of all, I love how you documented this with the pictures. These will be awesome for blackmail later.
I agree with Debbie and Tim. When Belle does this, I just start walking to the car. Usually, by the time I am a few feet away from her, she panics and gets up, and runs to the car. I ignore the behavior. Isabella is 3 1/2 and still does this occasionally, but now it is more often at home because she is aware of people watching her. I definitely have to keep my voice calm and cool (which is hard), if I flip out, it just sends her deeper into her fit. Last week, she was screaming sooooo loud, I just looked at her and told her that if she kept screaming like that, the neighbors were going to call the police to come get mommy. It probably wasn't the best tactic, but guess what? She stopped instantly and hasn't done it again.

miss jessica said...

I am not an experienced parent...yet :) but I am an experienced preschool teacher, so I think I'll throw my 2 cents in there. :) I totally agree with using the ignoring strategy in this situation (or any negative-attention getting attempts). Tell her before you leave what you expect of her (i.e., honey, we're going into the store and we will not be looking at toys today. I expect that you will walk with me through the store. We will look at toys another day.) This way, you've made sure that she does know what is expected of her. Then, if she starts throwing a fit, tell her that you are going to ignore "x" behavior, and then walk away. Like Debbie said, praise her when she chooses to join you. I have a great textbook at home called "Guidance of Young Children". It was for a class I took, but I think it is a great resource for parents with kids of all ages (0-8 years, to be exact). I really enjoyed it and have gained a lot from it. If you want to borrow it or browse through it for some guidance ideas, let me know...I'd be glad to hook you up! Good luck! You are a great mommy and your children are so beautiful!!!!

Erica said...

wow! thanks everyone for your input. I'll try all of ideas and I wouldn't mind looking at the book, Jessica :)

Hey Tim, is this Baby Gap the same place where they have the special humidifier? ;). Perhaps your call is in retail

Hillary said...

I too am new to the parenting scene but I have come accross a wonderful book by Lisa Whelchel (best known for her role as Blair on the Facts of Life) called Creative Correction. It's been a great book so far and it's written from a biblical perspective (she attends Church On The Way in Van Nuys, CA and is married to one of the pastors there), and used many bible references as well. If you'd like to borrow it, just let me know.

Murdoc said...

I think changing her nickname from sweet pea to pol pot would do the trick.

noel said...

i am thinking this lil one is so smart she needs a reward system going. i think you could try and get leverage for when she uses her words instead of kicking and screaming and then over do it on the "good job morgan" when she uses words instead of screaming. she is very smart and smart kids figure out how to get what they want one way or another so maybe another thing that she wants like a sticker at the end of the day if she hasn't thrown a fit might be another option.

Erica said...

Murdoc- yes that sweet pea name doesn't quite line up now

Noel- those are excellent suggestions. I'll do them and let you know :)

Jeni said...

While you're at the Baby Gap, don't forget to pick up the Baby Hookah for yourself! :)

Rosanna said...

Do you remember Champ "noodling" just like that??? When he didn't want to go somewhere he would just collapse and roll over so you couldn't grab is collar. Sometimes I would just grab his legs and drag him with me. I used to imagine that's what it would be like to have a 2-year-old... but now you KNOW. Wowzers. I'll be praying for ya.

Meanwhile, the pictures are hilarious.