Thursday, February 28, 2008

To work or not to work that is the question


I have been considering, for the past 6 months quitting my job and it has really reached a climax this past month. My employer has made changes in just about every area of my work these last 6 months but I still felt I had the independence to be a nurse and make judgment calls based on what the patient told me. Another easier way to say that is- I still felt I had nursing judgment. Example: Being a professional RN I can make the judgment whether to call a patient's doctor or not. It is what makes nursing unique in that we aren't just robots that call the doctor simply because a patient says keys words or reports certain symptom but we as nurses can put that in the context in which it is said and make that judgment.

With that all said, that freedom I had as a nurse was taken away about 2 weeks ago. A HUGE policy change was made from management and a meeting was called to tell the nurses on how to follow that change. In my opinion, it's never good, when the director of our department starts the meeting with an opening statement " we are not taking away nursing judgment but ...." and then goes on to explain just exactly how that nursing judgment will be taken away and how this is how it is....


This change has made me want to quit even more but I can't seem to. My husband totally supports and encourages my decision to quit and financially we would make it without me working but I have had endless sleepless nights coming to the decision of quitting and I couldn't figure out why. I was thinking/ praying about this when I had a thought that part of my identity as a person has been in the fact that I am 'educated' and am a registered nurse. Not in a prideful way, but just that is part of who I am (or who I think I am) and quitting would leave me identitiless ( if that is a word) in that part of my person. I have always worked since I graduated from nursing school 6 years ago and it's a bit scary to think that I will be out of this field and probably won't return for a good 5 years. That's scary but I know I would really be unhappy if I continue to work at this job in which basically I am a robot.

Even with all this said on the positive side of quitting, I'm still struggling with putting in my 2 week notice....

9 comments:

TPluckyT said...

Sounds like you're on the road of discovery . . . disconcerting but potentially rewarding . . . hang in there, my friend . . .

scoey-d said...

You know this - but I'll say it anyway. Your worth goes far beyond what you do for a job... or if you have a job. You're a great woman. Wife. Mother. Friend.

I'm behind you.

noel said...

i struggled so much over the years with not having a job that actually gave me a paycheck. all i can say is that it's a process and whatever you decide i pray God gives you peace and wisdom through the process.

laura said...

this is very interesting... something i have always struggled with. when i worked, like you, i felt my identity had something to do with my education, and what i did. took 5 years off, now i am having a hard time separating my identity from being "mom"...but those are "issues" of mine:) i think i am successfully starting to find that balance.
on another note, what if you just changed jobs? there are plenty of places that will take you for minimal hours...just a thought.

Jeni said...

Jerks. I will be praying that you will be at ease with your decision.

I know how unnerving it can be to feel identitiless (as you put it).

***Hugs***

Erica said...

Wow-thanks guys for all the support. It really makes this easier. I laughed what Jen said 'jerks.' I had a very similar thought when I read the policy change. Blogging actually helped give me the courage to make the decision and I've decided to put in my resignation.
Laura- the reason I haven't pursued other jobs is that being 4 months pregnant, I didn't want to have to adapt to a new working environment and I just see my availability being less with more babies coming.

laura said...

good for you! I bet you will feel so much relief once it is done.

JayBird said...

most of us can relate in a way with what you're working through. i'd like to add another option to your options: maybe we could be praying for another, better job/work environment. maybe it's not an all or nothing decision. i once had a job in Fallon where everyday was painful to show up, then doing the job was even worse-- i didn't agree with management's business procedures and processes. i prayed every day for another job and 6 mos. later i landed a way better job/situation. i know our situation is different in that i had to keep working in order for us to stay afloat. i'm just saying if you like what you do/nurse, then maybe you don't have to "quit" it. just some thoughts.

Erica said...

jaybird- that is an option I haven't really considered but could and maybe should be open to.