To work or not to work that is the question

I have been considering, for the past 6 months quitting my job and it has really reached a climax this past month. My employer has made changes in just about every area of my work these last 6 months but I still felt I had the independence to be a nurse and make judgment calls based on what the patient told me. Another easier way to say that is- I still felt I had nursing judgment. Example: Being a professional RN I can make the judgment whether to call a patient's doctor or not. It is what makes nursing unique in that we aren't just robots that call the doctor simply because a patient says keys words or reports certain symptom but we as nurses can put that in the context in which it is said and make that judgment.

With that all said, that freedom I had as a nurse was taken away about 2 weeks ago. A HUGE policy change was made from management and a meeting was called to tell the nurses on how to follow that change. In my opinion, it's never good, when the director of our department starts the meeting with an opening statement " we are not taking away nursing judgment but ...." and then goes on to explain just exactly how that nursing judgment will be taken away and how this is how it is....


This change has made me want to quit even more but I can't seem to. My husband totally supports and encourages my decision to quit and financially we would make it without me working but I have had endless sleepless nights coming to the decision of quitting and I couldn't figure out why. I was thinking/ praying about this when I had a thought that part of my identity as a person has been in the fact that I am 'educated' and am a registered nurse. Not in a prideful way, but just that is part of who I am (or who I think I am) and quitting would leave me identitiless ( if that is a word) in that part of my person. I have always worked since I graduated from nursing school 6 years ago and it's a bit scary to think that I will be out of this field and probably won't return for a good 5 years. That's scary but I know I would really be unhappy if I continue to work at this job in which basically I am a robot.

Even with all this said on the positive side of quitting, I'm still struggling with putting in my 2 week notice....

Back to Normal

So our SeaWorld vacation was great! We all had a good time. Even with 2 rain days, it was memorable and I would go back in a heart beat. I'm very proud to say that I was able to face one of my worst fears on the vaca and that is loosing a credit card. Hubby's card went missing and I was perfectly calm and didn't have one moment of panic. Canceled the card which automatically canceled mine as well since they were on the same account. On-ward

A miracle actually did take place there. Andy got pink eye in both eyes and Morgan and I didn't get it. I believe now in miracles AND in the prevention of hand washing!!!!

It wasn't my highlight but definitely Andy's. We had planned to rent a mid-size car, nothing fancy and when we arrived at the rental car place all they had in the lot was a Cadillac SDS so the guy told Andy it was his lucky day and we got a free up-grade. So Andy's favorite part of the vacation was shouting "boost!" and throwing his passengers back into their seats as he passed other cars at speeds I never believed we would ever go in a car (with the exception of the autobond in Germany)

I got to drive it, finally!!! and it was like driving a jet so easy to go 90 mph when the ride is soooo smooth. Thankfully no tickets and after some fun, the driving got back down to normal limits...although that was on the last day

pictures will follow but I'm to tired to get up to get the camera right now. Missed all of you guys on Sunday and the blogs.

Blue Sky Holiday

We're off to San Diego starting tomorrow. We fly down tonight and then chill for the next 5 days. It's a great time for us to get some away time. You know the feeling when the daily routine is just wearing on you and you need a break.

Hubby was disappointed that Morgan isn't tall enough for any of the rides but then I can't go on them either in my present condition, so he can enjoy them for the two of us as we watch.

I was ready to pack all shorts and sandals and then we checked the weather. The high will be 60 and it will be a chance of rain each day. That got me down for awhile but I refuse to let weather spoil our week! So, rain or not here we come!

It will be my blue sky holiday even if technically it's not blue sky!

3 days 2 nights

My hubby is off for 3 days and 2 nights. He's off to an island in the Delta with a group of airsofters who call themselves the Cimmerians ( my hubby tells me this is from some movie, but I can't remember the name of the movie this second)

That's the longest he's left me w/ the babster. He's been planning this since the fall so I had time to prepare myself mentally and emotionally and to also plan things to do so I wouldn't sit around all day feeling sorry for myself. So far so good. I'm almost half way there and have managed to keep an up beat note. I've been close to a few tears at times but persevered!

He drove his truck w/ 2 of his airsoft friends who I got to meet for the first time. That was interesting. I was really proud of hubby as one of the friends wanted to park his car in front of our house while they were gone..which we had no problem with, but there was a sticker on the car that was rather on the pornographic side and Andy asked him to cover it up if his car was to be parked out front for 3 days. As you start to stick to your guns and just say hey this is who we are but we still want to get to know you, it's a place that becomes more comfortable. So that was great to see that in hubby.

Count down commencing- almost to 1 night and 2 days to go

Uphill Battle

Everyone knows that I'm pregnant which is wonderful. I had to have our first baby delivered c-section cause she was breach and refused to turn the right way in the womb...which by the way, this tenacity shows up in her personality in more ways then one now a days

I was thrilled to find out that my doctor's office performs VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) which is not very common to find now a days BUT (there is always a but!)
because of licensing and strict rules their practice can only perform VBACs at Renown, my old stomping grounds for work. That hospital is the only hospital that is NOT a provider with our insurance. The other two in this area are....

So starts the long battle of appeals and calls to the insurance company.
My first call wasn't very encouraging as the customer lady said she hadn't ever seen one successful appeal of this sort go through..bummer

What ever the results, we just want a baby that is healthy. I will gladly take even an extra thumb again. If by some chance this baby does have an extra digit, I'm going to seriously think Andy or I are somehow related to Goliath :)

Daily Occurences

Life's been good. Normal, Fun with the little babster picking up new words every day.

My husband and I went to a Martegra party that one of my co-workers throws every year. That was fun/interesting and I'm glad we did not get the baby in the cake, if we did I told my husband to spit it out!

The picture attached is us at a wolf pack basketball game. It's amazing what cute little babies can get away with. The poor man sitting in front of Morgan got his chair kicked every 5 min cause she was so busy climbing in and out of it. He didn't realize it was a cute toddler and was glaring at me and Andy and then Andy showed him it was Morgan and apologized. He remarked' Oh how cute, that's o.k.' I think the wolf pack sweater that she was wearing helped :)

My work is cracking down on how long it should take for us nurses to do each task assigned to us . Now they have come up with an equation that gives us a certain 'time allocation' that it should take us to do each task. Every time I think they can't possibly find ways to micro-manage more..... they always amaze me and find a way how to

My sister is currently a first year intern in medical school. She had her first patient die this last week :(. It's one of those people you never forget, like your first ticket or first kiss. You never forget their face or the circumstances...

My husband and I had an interesting discussion on whether the Bible should be left on the bathroom window seal :)

Cheers! the sun has been out

Boycotting Valentines

I really enjoyed valentines day when I was single. That was actually Andy and mine 3rd date. I enjoyed planning what we would do on the day and all that stuff.

The last four valentines that Andy and I have been married we have gone out and I've come to see that this holiday is very over-rated and probably invented by hallmark and restaurants. I have several examples to back this up.

1st example:year before last Andy and I went to an expensive restaurant. The food was $$$ put very yummy but the room was very small and was crammed full of people. We felt like we were sharing a table with our neighbors on our right and left. And to make it even more interesting the couple on our left were two ladies making out..I'm not kidding.

2nd example: last year, we pick a different restaurant together and started early to get the reservations. Again the valentine's dinner was $$ about 74$ a plate which we managed to barely swallow and then the hostess informed Andy there were two time options 5 pm and 8:40 pm. Great we could eat at 5 pm and spend alot of $$$ and be hungry again by 9 or we could eat at 8:40 and stay up all night with heart burn because of the late meal!

That s when I have come to the conclusion that this holiday is over-rated. My husband, asked me kindly if I would still feel this way about valentines, if we had gotten a normal eating time slot...hmmmm.... honestly probably not, I'll have to work to get there.

So this year, we are staying at home and we will both eat at no cost$ and with no people making out at the same table as us and at the time we both will like :)

Thank you St. valentines :)