Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Siblings #3


The order of my siblings is my sister is first and then I'm 2 and 1/2 years younger and then my brother is 2 years younger then me. As I'm sure everyone knows, growing up you fall into tendencies with your siblings. Fights and spats that reappear over different circumstances but basically the same issues. You form your automatic responses and frequently refer back to specific points growing up together where you either grew really close or farther away. I always remembered that mom and dad made us apologize to each other and ask for forgiveness. We had to be specific for what we were sorry for and then ask forgiveness and then the other person would say I forgive you. I had no idea of the complete significance of these words until later in life. Usually it was just the routine to follow.


Being with my siblings as adults and a vacation that we willing chose to be together for was good. The first week went by with barely an argument. After a week though, the same annoying habits came up. My sister and I in the past have always teamed up together as our opinions are very similar and how we express ourselves and it's usually my brother on the out. Old manipulative behaviors came out of all of us and it was like a flash back seeing our spats. Seeing how we are all adults, we got to choose to hang out with each other and work things out or not. Not every moment was pleasant and still plenty of annoying habits and little manipulative tendencies. At least with a vacation, there is an end in sight!

The 2nd to last night of the vacation, my sister and I got into a spat and my brother (surprisingly), was the one who finally blew the horn and called time out. The next morning, I called out to my sister, I'm sorry for snapping at you last night and my sister saying I'm sorry to and then we both said I forgive you. I had another flashback to when we shared a room when we were teenagers and asking for forgiveness in the dark after the light went out.

It made me cherish the old memories and the new ones.




7 comments:

Plucky said...

I am the oldest of five and I am always amazed at how (even as middle-aged adults) we fall back into the "order" of relating when we get together . . .

Erica said...

tplucky- it's almost like an automatic response that you have to conscious change

Erica said...

tplucky- it's almost like an automatic response that you have to conscious change

scoey-d said...

It gives me joy to see you & your siblings hanging out. & hearing about your conflict resolution. Good job.

Erica said...

scoey-d: :)

Jeni said...

I'm glad to hear that despite conflicts, you are able to enjoy your siblings' company.

Erica said...

Jeni- it's hard when you're in the middle of it but worth it in the end