Friday, December 4, 2009

Where I'm at

I've had some interesting thoughts the last few days about where I am at life. Meaning, being at home with 2 little ones. Having a RN degree but not currently choosing to use it. Being fulfilled in what I'm doing every day.

While I'm wiping Caden's nose or putting my almost perfect 3 year old in time out, :) I've had thoughts like "well if I started working and serving others and wiping their noses and butts, then I'd really be hearing God's call on my life." I was thinking these thoughts while waiting to pick up my daughter from preschool the other day and I got a picture/ memory of one of the days when I was working at the hospital after we had had Morgan.

I vividly recall sitting at the nurse's station charting on the computer and feeling annoyed that the call light had gone on again!! If only those patients could get their own bed pans and stop their own IV machine from beeping!! :) I was thinking, if only I could stay home with my kids, then I could truly serve the people that need me! and I would content and everything would be right.

I remembered this while sittng in the parking lot and the fact that I was saying the same thing about staying home with the kids really struke me that I have a contentness issue in this area. Just recongizing this, a light bulb has gone on and as my husband asked, "don't you think someone is talking to you?".

...yes, I don't want to not recognize where I am in life and miss what God has for me today even in the little small, monotous, un-noticed moments in my day :)


shontell said...

In my experience, and I have a little, these thoughts stem from both God and Satan's little helpers at different times. First, satan's little helpers heap on the mom guilt. The feeling that no matter where we are spending our time, we should be doing something else, something more, something better. On the flip side, sometimes God will start to stir desires in us that he intends you to act on later. Those of us not good with transition may take more time when deciding to go back to work. So you just have to pray and decide who is doing the talking. Then, you will know what the right answer is. I say God would never give you children if you were supposed to leave them everyday. Seasons and all that, ya know?

Plucky said...

Contentedness has long been one of my big challenges in life . . . One day I hope to get there . . . (sigh)

Erica said...

Shontell- I appreciate your experience and I like your thoughts :)

Plucky- me too

Tmoney said...

It's hard to stay home, I struggle with it all of the time. I want to go back to work a lot. But then I think of all the things that I get to do with my kids now that I didn't when my older kids were younger and I am content for a minute again.. The grass always seems greener, but it seldom is.

noel said...

Finding contentment in any situation in life is truly a gift. There are days I really feel it and others I don't at all. Hmmm... such is life I think. But to aspire to be content in all things is something that I know will prolly take me a lifetime to truly master.
I remember this stage Erica, oh so well and one thing I know for sure is that you won't regret the choices you have made.

Erica said...

Tmoney- and I don't want to miss anything :)

Noel- oh thanks, Noel! I appreciate your wisdom. Your right the grass is always greener.